So, I was browsing the internet the other day and stumbled upon this gem of an image.
Check it out:
Pretty cool, huh? It’s all about shame resilience theory and how to build up your resilience against it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Why do I need to know about shame resilience theory? I never feel ashamed!” Well, my friend, let me tell you, we all feel ashamed from time to time. It’s a natural human emotion. But with the help of this theory, we can learn to bounce back stronger and more confident than ever before.
So, what is shame resilience theory?
Essentially, shame resilience theory was developed by a researcher named Brené Brown (you may have heard of her). She defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging”.
That sounds pretty terrible, right? Well, the good news is that shame resilience theory is all about building up your inner strength to combat these feelings of shame. It’s a way of developing skills and strategies to cope with shame and come out on the other side feeling stronger and more self-assured.
How do I practice shame resilience?
Great question! There are four main components to shame resilience theory that you can practice in your everyday life.
1. Recognize your shame triggers
One of the first steps in building shame resilience is to learn what triggers your feelings of shame. This can be different for everyone, but some common triggers include failure, rejection, criticism, and conflict.
Once you know your triggers, you can start to recognize when these feelings are coming up and find ways to cope with them. This might mean taking a few deep breaths, reminding yourself that these feelings are normal, or reaching out to a supportive friend or therapist.
2. Practice critical awareness
Another key component of shame resilience is learning to be critical of your own thoughts and beliefs. This doesn’t mean being self-critical or putting yourself down - quite the opposite, in fact.
Instead, critical awareness means being able to examine your own thought patterns and recognize when they might be leading to feelings of shame or unworthiness. It’s about questioning the negative self-talk and challenging those beliefs with more positive, self-affirming ones.
3. Reach out to others
Humans are social animals, and we thrive on connection and relationships. That’s why reaching out to others is such an important part of shame resilience.
When you’re feeling ashamed or vulnerable, it can be tempting to withdraw and isolate yourself. But this only reinforces those negative beliefs and can make you feel even worse. Instead, try reaching out to someone you trust - a friend, family member, or therapist - and sharing your feelings with them.
Not only will this help you feel less alone, but it can also give you a fresh perspective and help you see your situation in a more positive light.
4. Tell your story
Finally, shame resilience involves being able to tell your own story - to own your experiences and share them with others. This doesn’t mean airing your dirty laundry to the world, but rather finding safe and supportive spaces where you can share your struggles and connect with others who have been through similar experiences.
Telling your story can be incredibly empowering. It helps you move from a place of shame and secrecy to one of strength and vulnerability. And it can also inspire others to do the same.
Final thoughts
So there you have it - shame resilience theory in a nutshell. By practicing these four components, you can build up your inner strength and learn to cope with shame in a healthy, positive way.
Remember, you’re not alone in feeling ashamed or unworthy. We all experience these emotions from time to time. But by practicing shame resilience, you can come out on the other side feeling stronger, more confident, and more resilient than ever before.
