So, I stumbled upon this thing called Japanese Candlestick Patterns and boy oh boy, it’s a doozy! I mean, just look at this cheat sheet I found:
The Doji
Okay, so apparently this candlestick pattern represents indecision in the market. You know what that reminds me of? When you’re trying to decide what to order at a restaurant and you keep going back and forth between the same two options. Just make a decision already!
The Hammer
This one’s called The Hammer and it’s supposed to signal the end of a downward trend. But let’s be real, the only hammer I know is the one I use to hang up pictures in my apartment. And even then, it takes me about 10 tries to get it just right.
The Shooting Star
The Shooting Star is supposed to indicate a potential trend reversal. But if I saw a shooting star, I’d probably just make a wish for unlimited pizza and call it a day.
The Harami
This one’s called The Harami and apparently it’s a sign that the trend may be changing. But all I can think of is that a Harambe candlestick pattern would have been more interesting. #RIP
The Bullish Engulfing Pattern
Now we’re talking! The Bullish Engulfing Pattern sounds like something that would happen in a bullfighting arena in Spain. But apparently it just means that the bulls are taking over the market. I’d rather imagine a bunch of actual bulls running around Wall Street, though.
The Bearish Engulfing Pattern
This is like the Bullish Engulfing Pattern’s evil twin. The Bearish Engulfing Pattern means that the bears are taking over. And in case you were wondering, I’m not talking about the cuddly kind of bears. We’re talking Wall Street Bears with pinstripe suits and briefcases who are not to be messed with.
The Inverted Hammer
I don’t know about you, but The Inverted Hammer sounds like a medieval torture device. Luckily, it’s just another candlestick pattern that signals a potential upward trend. But seriously, who comes up with these names?
The Hanging Man
This one sounds even worse than The Inverted Hammer. Why would you name a candlestick pattern after a form of execution? Apparently, The Hanging Man indicates a potential downward trend. But all I can think of is the song “I Fought the Law” by The Clash with the line “The hanging judge came in next”.
Well, that’s enough candlestick patterns for one day. I don’t know about you, but I’m craving some sushi now. Maybe I’ll see what kind of patterns I can make with my soy sauce packets. Until next time, folks!
