Well, well, well, look what we have here! The 2019-2020 Denver Broncos Schedule is here and I am pumped up! You guys better get ready to buckle up because this season is going to be one wild ride.
Week 1: vs. Oakland Raiders
Looks like we are starting things off with a good ol’ fashioned rivalry game against the Raiders. Time to break out the face paint and get ready to show those silver and black loving fools who the real kings of the AFC West are! I can already taste that sweet, sweet victory.
Week 2: vs. Chicago Bears
Oh boy, here we go again. Another tough game against a great team. But you know what they say, if you want to be the best, you have to beat the best. Time to show those Bears what a real defense looks like.
Week 3: @ Green Bay Packers
Going up against the legendary Aaron Rodgers in his own backyard? No sweat. We have Von Miller and the rest of our defense to take care of that. Plus, I heard it’s really hard for opposing teams to play in that green and yellow sea of vomit that they call a stadium. We got this.
Week 4: vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
I don’t know much about the Jags, to be honest. But I do know that they don’t stand a chance against our boys in orange and blue. This game will probably be over by halftime, giving us plenty of time to celebrate with some ice-cold brewskies.
Week 5: @ Los Angeles Chargers
Ah, the Chargers. The team that likes to think they have a fanbase, but in reality, it’s just a bunch of people wearing powder blue jerseys for the aesthetic. But enough about them, let’s talk about us. We are going to go into their stadium and show them what real fans look like. And maybe we’ll even let them score a couple of points as a sympathy gesture.
Week 6: vs. Tennessee Titans
I can’t say I’m too excited about this game, to be honest. The Titans are a decent team, but they just don’t have that “wow” factor. But hey, we can’t win them all, right? Let’s just hope that Joe Flacco remembers he’s a Super Bowl MVP and shows us some of that magic.
Week 7: vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Now this is a game I can get excited about. The Chiefs are one of our biggest rivals, and I can’t wait to see us take them down a notch. I already have my trash talk ready for all my Chief-loving friends.
Week 8: @ Indianapolis Colts
Did someone say Peyton Manning Bowl? Oh wait, he doesn’t play for the Colts anymore. But that doesn’t mean this game won’t be fun. The Colts have been a solid team in recent years, but we are going to go into their house and take them down. And maybe we’ll even teach Andrew Luck how to grow a real beard.
Week 9: vs. Cleveland Browns
Ah, the Browns. The lovable losers of the NFL. But don’t let their recent success fool you, they are still the Browns. And we are still the Broncos. There’s really not much else to say about this game, except that it will probably be a blowout.
Week 11: @ Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings are a strong team, no doubt about that. But we are the Broncos, and we don’t back down from a challenge. This game is going to be a battle, but I have faith in our boys to come out on top. And maybe we’ll even teach Kirk Cousins how to finally win a big game.
Week 12: @ Buffalo Bills
I have mixed feelings about this game. On one hand, the Bills are not a very good team. On the other hand, Buffalo wings are delicious, so it would be a shame if we beat them too badly. But in all seriousness, I’m not too worried about this game. Our defense will handle things, and our offense will do just enough to secure the win.
Week 13: vs. Los Angeles Chargers
Oh, look who it is. The Chargers again. This time they have to come to our house, which means they are in for a world of hurt. I can already hear their weak “Let’s go, Chargers” chants being drowned out by our roaring “IN-COM-PLETE” cheers.
Week 14: @ Houston Texans
The Texans are another tough team to play against, but we are tough too. We’ve been through the wringer, and we always come out stronger on the other side. I have a feeling this game is going to come down to the wire, but I know we have what it takes to come out on top.
Week 15: @ Kansas City Chiefs
Round two against the Chiefs, and this time we are on their turf. But that doesn’t scare us. We are the Broncos, and we thrive under pressure. Plus, Arrowhead Stadium is overrated. Who needs a fancy stadium when you have the Mile High Magic?
Week 16: vs. Detroit Lions
I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about the Lions. But that’s okay, because they don’t know much about us either. All they need to know is that when they step onto Empower Field at Mile High, they are going to be in for a rude awakening.
Week 17: vs. Oakland Raiders
And we end the season where we started it: against the Raiders. But this time, it’s personal. This time, we are playing for our pride, for our city, for everything we stand for. And we are going to show the world why the Denver Broncos are the greatest team in the NFL.
So there you have it, folks. The 2019-2020 Denver Broncos schedule. Buckle up and get ready for an unforgettable season. Go Broncos!
